I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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