Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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