i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I wish you could order shots online.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
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