Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
