Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
