eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Randomize
