i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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