Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
