can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
