Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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