I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
