shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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