Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
