god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
