Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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