My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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