i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
