U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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