Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
