dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
