i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize