I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
