can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
