seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
