IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
