hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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