I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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