someone get that fucking seahorse.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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