Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
two words: eviction party
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
