We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
