a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
