i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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