I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
