I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
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