i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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