she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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