she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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