I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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