i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
