Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could fuck to npr.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize