Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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