GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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