Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
