wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
