sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
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This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
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Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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