What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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