is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Randomize
