she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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