I look better un-naked...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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