Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
