fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
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