i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
