Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
