she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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