HIV tests are more positive than that guy
im holly from the hills drunk
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
