He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
