the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
