whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
