Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
