She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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